Survivor: Naruto Style!
by Niwatori Shimauma
Summary: What happens when the Naruto crew gets stranded on a deserted island and have to live with each other? (Most parts are OOC but thats all for the sake of comedy)
1. Stranded!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto, and I also do not own this idea. The story is original, just not the concept.

I am sorry to anyone else who has already written a fic like this one, but I just really wanted to write it because I have some really good ideas!

**Chapter 1**

Stranded!

Naruto was on his way to a big party that he got invited to. But little did he, or everyone else in Konoha that got invited, know, that it was actually an evil plot to get them all trapped on a deserted island! (insert maniacal laughter here)

"This is the place!" Naruto was staring up at a giant dome that was said to be the place that the party was going to be held.

"Naruto? What're you doing here?" Naruto turned around to see Sasuke and Sakura standing at the entrance of the dome as well.

"You guys get invited too?"

"Uh-huh" Sakura said and ran up to the slidey doors that was the entrance to the pitch black dome (I like slidey doors…)

"So I guess everyone else was invited too" Sasuke casually walked past Naruto and entered the really, really big dome. Naruto followed.

_**LATER**_

By this time, everyone in Konoha has arrived at the dome. So they will soon be cast out to sea, and then crash on an island, and then have to live with each other for a very long time! Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuun!

Now I will describe to you what everyone is doing while they wait for their mysterious host!

Naruto is eating ramen.

Sasuke is leaning on a wall with his arms crossed.

Sakura is having a catfight with Ino over who looks better.

Ino is having a catfight with Sakura and oh you know the rest…

Chouji is eating everything he can see. (On the food court. He is not a cannibal)

Shikamaru is sleeping under a table.

Kiba is playing fetch with Akamaru. (With what you ask? I really don't know…)

Hinata is sitting quietly beside Naruto.

Shino is gambling with Lee and Neji.

Tenten is practicing karate.

And Gaara (yes Gaara) is hiding from everyone.

Does that cover everyone? Yes, I think it does…well, lets continue then!

"Go get it boy!" Kiba threw his watcha-ma-callit across the inside of the dome (which by the way is completely dark except for three lights) and hit Shino in the head.

"Ow…that's it! Iim gonna give Akamaru fleas for all eternity!" Shino lifted up his hands and a few bugs started to crawl out from his sleeves.

"Nooooooo!" Kiba jumped in the way of the bugs, thus getting fleas stuck in his Eskimo –like jacket thing. He is now scratching himself like crazy.

"Gyagh! Have mercy Shino! Have mercy!" Kiba was on the verge of tears.

"Oh fine! Come back to me my babies…" As he said this all the fleas crawled off the Eskimo-like jacket and up Shino's sleeve.

"Hey by the way, where do all the bugs go when they crawl up your sleeve?" Lee asked as he lost all his money to Neji.

"You…don't wanna know…"

"Ew…" Neji said quietly.

And after hours of doing random crap, the mysterious host shows up!

"Do you know why I have brought you all here today? I didn't think so, now as you may have not known, we are currently 183 miles out in the Pacific Ocean." Jaws dropped at this.

"How the heck did you get this big dome thingy out to sea so far?"

"That, Naruto, is something I do not know, and never will"

Everyone was a bit shocked that the mysterious host had almost no idea what the heck he was talking about.

"Annnyway! We will soon be at our destination!" The mysterious host gave each of them a pair of goggles.

"Um… why do we need these?" Ino asked trying to get them to fit her.

"Oh, you will see!" The mysterious host went back up to his hiding place and was out of sight once more.

"All in favor of kicking his butt when he comes back out say I!" Kiba exclaimed, and everyone in the dome thingy raised their hand.

"I said say 'I' you morons!"

"How dare you call me a moron!" Gaara said and trapped Akamaru in a cage of sand.

"What is this, abusive animal treatment day?" Kiba said as he tried, frantically, to pull away the bars of the sandy prison.

Just then, the dome thing keeled over on its side causing everyone and everything in it to slide over.

"What the?" Shikamaru yelled as he woke up from his rather long nap.

"I can't swim!" Gaara said as he tried to pull himself up onto the top of the dome.

"Quick everyone! Get on my stomach!" Chouji said and everyone climbed on.

"Baika no Jutsu!" he yelled and got bloated to where he was a human raft. Yay! Chouji gets the resourceful fat guy award!

"Phew that was close" said Hinata and shyly shifted over to Naruto.

"I say we pat Chouji on the…well…stomach?" Ino said with a half-disgusted look on her face.

They all looked down and said "Nah…" and then thought to themselves _Isn't it bad enough that we have to sit on this guy till we reach that island over there? Wait a minnit…island?_ And then they all stared at their only hope of survival.

"YOSH!" Lee yelled and then everyone stared at him.

"Never again Lee…" Sasuke said and then proceeded to stare at the island some more.

"But if I'm not annoying, then you guys'll never give me any attention!"

"Actually we just choose to not give you attention…" Shino said coldly.

"Aw…" Lee said and then crawled off to be by himself.

_**TO BE CONTINUED…**_

**Yusuke: This sucks**

**Kenshin: Its not bad that it isn't**

**Niwatori: I hope no one's mad at me cause all my muses are anime characters…**

**Yugi: I am**

**Yoh: I'm not!**

**Yusuke: We don't care Yoh**

**Yoh: Yes you do! You just don't know how to show it!**

**Niwatori: No…we really don't care**

**Yoh: Oh…Celestial Slash!**

**(Yugi gets sliced in half)**

**Yugi: You will pay for this!**

**Yoh: No I won't!**

**All (except Niwatori and Yugi): Please review!**

**Niawtori: But no flaming!**

**Yugi: Flamers answer to me!**

**Niwatori: You realize you're in two halves right?**

**Yugi: Does it look like I care?**

**Niwatori: No…it looks like your bleeding**

**Kenshin: True you are bleeding that you are**

**Niwatori: Kenshin shut up**

**Kenshin: Why O mighty creator?**

**Niwatori: Because I just don't like the way you talk…**

**Yusuke: Everyone shut up!**

**All (except Yusuke): OK!**

**Yusuke: But seriously, please review!**


	2. First day on the Island or Random crap d...

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto and neither do you.

Replies to reviews:

Nejithecagedbird: Sorry the chapters are short, but I've been running out of ideas recently for all my fics...I'll update as soon as my writer's block gets better...anyway, I'm tryin' to go for the comedy route than the lengthy one.

Silver Sniper: You know I mentioned that some characters are OOC in my description of the story. I also read a bit of your fic too! But unlike in your fic, in mine they didn't know they were gonna get stranded on an island. And they're not really on Survivor...I just used that in the title.

**Chapter 2**

First day on the Island or Random crap day (I can't decide)

Our ninja heroes (and Gaara) had reached the island and were now cursing the mysterious host.

"Darn you, you frikin' shadowy, mysterious, mother–" Neji started and was then bashed on the head by Tenten's karate chop.

"There could be impressionable young viewers reading this fic, and plus, if you had tried to say that you would've got bleeped." Tenten said firmly.

"What's a fic?" Chouji asked and everyone except Shikamaru shrugged.

"It's stories that are made by people that hear about the website. We are in a fan fiction right now, even." Shikamaru said and then turned on his back.

"You frighten me sometimes Shikamaru" Tenten said and then kicked Lee in the shin.

"YOW! Why did you do that Tenten?" Lee yelled hopping on one foot.

"I dunno. It sounded like fun at the time." Tenten said and then shrugged.

"Yes! Lets all kick Lee in the shin!" Ino said and then proceeded to kick Lee in the shin. As did everyone else.

They did this for many hours until Lee's shin was bleeding.

"AUGH..." Lee buried his face into the ground and something wet touched his face...

"GYAH!" Lee yelled as he shot up and everyone asked what was wrong or if he was just being annoying again.

"There! Look at that!" Lee pointed at what looked like a little slimy, pink, tepee poking out of the sand.

They all stared at it for awhile until Naruto said "Poke it Lee"

"Ack! Why me?" Lee yelled and fell head first into the sand after tripping over a twig.

"Because if it _does _attack, its better you than any of us" He then pushed Lee toward the small pink thing.

"Uh..." Lee poked it slightly and it wiggled around a bit. It then came up out of the ground revealing its long slimy body. It was a...tongue?

"Who has touched my ridiculously long tongue?" Orochimaru pulled himself up out of the ground and looked around at everyone. They were all staring at him with really big eyes.

"More importantly...why the HELL were you hiding under there!" Gaara said with a surprised look on his face. "You have disgraced the sand for all eternity with your presence!"

"I have an underground club under here...and we were just finishing a cool episode of Dragon Ball Z" Orochimaru said and everyone laughed at him.

"Dragon Ball Z is gay! Its all talk and no action!" Hinata said and everyone stopped laughing and stared at her. "I think you guys have a problem with staring at people..." she said shyly.

"Yeah it is! And am I the only one who noticed that almost every single bad guy can transform or something into a more powerful and more ugly form of theirselves?" Lee said and everyone got in on the conversation.

"Hey guys! What'd I miss?" Shino appeared out of nowhere and no one really noticed...

"What're we talkin' about?" Shino was ignored again. _That's it! I'm letting the bugs go..._ He thought to himself and then lifted up his arms.

"Rgghhh...Shut up! No one cares about Dragon Ball Z!" Gaara said and closed everyone's mouth with sand. (Note: Gaara is in his happy place because there is sand everywhere...yes even someone like Gaara has a happy place...this was a completely random statement so just make a mental note to forget it...except for the part about Gaara's happy place...which really is the whole statement so...ehehe...shutting up...)

"Well we do sand...demon...boy...thing...so no touching my tongue!" Orochimaru said and sank back into the ground.

"I wonder why his tongue was up out of the ground anyway..." Lee said and then felt something crawl up is leg. "KYAH!"

Everyone looked at him and then Chouji said "Lee, you realize you just screamed like a little girl right?"

"Is there anything actually wrong with you or are you being annoying again?" Sasuke said and then felt something crawl up his leg. "OMYGODTHERE'SSOMETHINGONMYLEG!"

and everyone stared at him.

"See? You guys do have a problem with staring at people!" Hinata said and then proceeded to stare at Sasuke.

And then everyone felt something crawl up their legs...dun dun duuuuuuuuuuun! (remember it was Shino's fault! They're in no real danger...or are they? Wait, oh, no...they're not. Never mind.)

"Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! That'll teach you to ignore me..." Shino said and then commanded the bugs to come back to his sleeves.

"You asshole! I'll kill you!" Gaara yelled leaping at Shino, fists at the ready.

"Crap" Shino said, was hit in the face, and was thrown back 35 feet. He then was wrapped in a pod of sand, and as Gaara closed his fists he was crushed under the pressure and exploded into a bunch of body parts and blood...just kidding! He was just unconscious!

"That'll shut him up for about, oh, ten minutes." Gaara said triumphantly.

"Sweet" Neji said quietly.

_**TO BE CONTINUED...**_

**Yusuke: I still say this sucks**

**Kenshin: You are much to negative, that you are**

**Niwatori: Aw come on! Its not that bad...**

**Yugi: Yes it is**

**Yoh: ZZZZZZzzzzzz**

**Yugi: What the hell is wrong with Yoh?**

**Niwatori: I think he's sleeping, no wait, he is sleeping**

**Kenshin: Shall I kick him?**

**Yusuke: I advise you to not do that**

**Yugi: Why you?**

**Niwatori: Yeah really...I thought you were just a bastard**

**Yusuke: Sometimes I wish I were**

**Kenshin: You are**

**Yusuke: Do you wish to die?**

**Kenshin: No, that I don't**

**Napolean Dynamite: Yeah right! Who's the only one here who knows the secret ninja moves from the government?**

**Niwatori: Where the hell did he come from?**

**Napolean: Where ever I feel like I wanna come from, gosh!**

**Yusuke: I'm going to kill him now...Mega spirit gun!**

**Napolean is blown away by a huge blue blast**

**Napolean: Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooosssssssssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!**

**Niwatori: Well, that was completely random and pointless! Please review!**

**Yugi: Flame if you want!**

**Niwatori: Shut up Yugi! I'll kill you!**

**Niwatori tackles Yugi**

**Kenshin: Please review, that you must**

**Yusuke kicks Yoh**

**Yoh: OW!**

**Yusuke: Aw, suck it up!**

**All: REVIEW! **


	3. Split up!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto or Dragon Ball Z

Due to my very unsuccessful first fic, I have decided to make this one, the one I will update the most frequently. And now! Replies to reviews!

KittyMissy: I'm glad you think its funny! That's what I was going for!

Naruto'sbabygirl: I will keep writing this fic! I am also glad you think its funny too

nejithecagedbird: Well, if you must have a reason as to why Orochimaru's tongue was up (that was completely random to make the story funnier) here it is:

**Orochimaru sat on his throne in his underground club and was watching the end of an episode of Dragon Ball Z when...his tongue started to move on its own!**

**_Dammit! Not now! Not in public! Nooo! I knew buying this roll-out tongue would come back to haunt me! _Orochimaru thought and his tongue slipped out of his mouth**

**While on his rather small television set Freiza and Goku were fighting to the death!**

"**Kamehameha!" Goku yelled and a big blue blast shot out of his hands and hit Frieza. But as the smoke cleared he stood there unharmed (when will Goku figure out that that blast never works?)**

"**Ha! Pathetic saiyain!" Frieza yelled (so true)** **and shot a bunch of tiny red blasts from the tips of his fingers that for some reason hurt a helluva lot more than a big blue one.**

"**Argh!" Goku yelled and then some random voice that almost sounds like he's introducing guys at a basketball game said "Will Goku be able to survive Frieza's barrage of tiny useless red blasts or will he perish under the almost non-existent pressure? Stay tuned for scenes from the next episode of...Dragon Ball Z!" while Orochimaru's tongue was slowly poking up** **through the sand, he none the wiser that it would soon tough Lee's face...**

Phew! That reason enough for you? And now...for the story!

**Chapter 3**

Split up!

After Shino regained consciousness, Neji proposed that they split up into two teams to look for monkeys and food and stuff.

They were split up into three teams, the first team consisted of Sasuke, Chouji, Lee, and Kiba. The second team consisted of Sakura, Ino, Tenten, and Hinata. The third team consisted of Naruto, Shikamaru, Neji, Shino, and Gaara. Team one was in charge of finding monkeys or any other civilazation. Team two was in charge of finding food. And team three was in charge of finding...well...stuff?

"Hey! How come you guys get five people and we only get four?" Sakura yelled pointing at Naruto.

"Um...here take this coconut" Naruto said and threw them a coconut.

"Alright! Our team is solid now! We got a coconut!" Sakura said excitedly and everyone on team two agreed (seriously, they were happy they got a coconut)

"Hey! What about us!" Lee yelled and jumped on Neji's head.

"I suggest you get off..." Neji said and thrust two fingers into Lee's face.

"Uh...how about you guys just take Jimmy?" Shino said and everyone stared at him with raised eyebrows. (Except Gaara. He has none! And Lee because his are too heavy)

"Jimmy?" Chouji said and then Shino lifted up his arms.

"Yes, Jimmy is my best friend." And then a bug came out of his sleeve and hugged Shino's middle finger.

They all looked at him with this expression

0.0

"COOL! WE GET A BUG!" Lee yelled and shoved his arms into the air. Accidentally punching Neji in the face...

"That tears it!" Neji yelled and activated his Byakugan. He then hit Lee at 275 pressure points in about 2.8 seconds leaving Lee unconscious and bleeding on the beach.

"Great now we still only have four team members..." Sasuke said and everyone shrugged.

"Well...at least you gotta bug" Hinata said and then followed her team into the nearby forest.

"True...true..." Chouji said and then ran off to catch up with his team who had left him behind.

"Well! What kinda 'stuff' should we look for?" Gaara said and everyone agreed on the same thing.

"We need a computer!" They all said and then realized that there was basically no point in a computer and the fact that they had nowhere to plug it in or anything.

"Maybe we should just search around the island to learn what all is on it." Shino said and then everyone said it wasn't a bad idea, so they then strode off merrily across the island beach leaving Lee or anything else behind them.

_Meanwhile with team 2!_

"Augh! Don't even tell me we're already lost!" Ino said with her hands behind her head.

"Just a bit further" Hinata said, Byakugan engaged.

"Wait what did you see again?" Tenten asked as a small tree branch hit her in the face.

"I saw a bunch of coconuts over there!" Hinata said and pointed east.

Everyone sweat dropped.

"Uh...if the coconuts are east, why are we going north?" Sakura asked and Hinata stopped.

"Uh...would you believe me if I told you my Byakugan was broken?" Hinata said and then turned east.

"Is that even possible?" Ino asked and Tenten and Sakura answered "No"

"Um...how 'bout I'm an idiot?" Hinata said and looked back.

"That'll work!" They all said and continued through the tropical forest.

_Meanwhile with team 3!_

"I saw the monkey!" Jimmy yelled but no one could understand (or hear for that matter) him.

"The bug is jumping up and down again" Kiba said and then saw Akamaru trying to eat him.

"No! Akamaru! If you eat Shino's bestest friend then he's gonna give me fleas!" Kiba said and hit Akamaru on the nose.

"whine" Akamaru pouted and continued to follow the rest of team 3.

"Is anyone else as bored as I am?" Shikamaru said and everyone said "YES! For the nineteenth time dammit!"

"Point taken" Shikamaru said and then proceeded to follow the rest of his team.

_Meanwhile back with team 1!_

"How the hell did we get lost?" Naruto yelled and then everyone just stared at the ground.

"We all agreed that we would stay right on the shore and not go into the tropical forest and get lost right? So, how the HELL did we end up going into the damn forest and getting lost?"

No one said anything.

"This sucks..." Naruto said quietly and then tried to find a way back to shore.

_Meanwhile again with team 2!_

"Hinata..."

"Yes Ino?"

"This is where we started isn't it?"

"Y-yeah it is..."

Hinata had led them to the exact same place that they had started. But at least she found the coconuts. Where do you thinkNaruto found the first one anyway hmmm? Stay tuned for the next chapter because it is currently 11:24 p.m. and I am really tired because my dad forced me to go to a baseball game with him...otherwise this chapter would be longer...

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sorry! No muses this time around because I'm just too damn tired currently...but R&R anyway. There are probably a few mistakes in this fic so let me know and I will fix em to the best of my ability...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz...sleeping...


	4. First night and the morning after

1**Disclaimer: **For the (I don't know how many times I've said it) time, I don't own Naruto

Yay! This fic is getting somewhat popular! And now to answer (and re-answer) reviews!

KittyMissy- Sorry! I forgot to mention that since you requested it, Itachi will appear in later chapters! As soon as I get to reading the part with him in the manga! Which, currently I am at chapter 104 so it could take awhile...its when Neji fights Naruto in the final stage of the Chunnin exams. Kick his ass Naruto!

nejithecagedbird- Well I'm sorry if I offended you or something by torturing Lee but he was the one I wanted to torture because he looks weird and acts weird and he is really funny...why don't you tell me who you would like to see get tortured because I am going to torture someone to take the jokes and stuff...

d4rkhunternin- Uh...its kinda supposed to be random...and not ramdon...

Now I shall move onto the story!

**Chapter 4**

**The first night and the morning after**

Team 1 had been mindlessly wandering through the tropical forest while all the others partied on the beach shore.

"I can smell food...**" **Chouji said and then Kiba yelled "So use your nose to find our way back!"

"Why don't you use your nose?" Chouji said and then collapsed out of dehydration and starvation.

"All in favor of leaving him there and forgetting about him say I" Kiba said and they all raised their hands.

"Dammit! You guys are frikin' idiots! Do you even listen to me when I say 'say I'?" Kiba yelled and then collapsed as well. Akamaru then bit him and he shot back up.

"OW! Uh...thanks boy...good dog..." Kiba said and then struggled to keep up with his team.

_While back on the beach!_

"WOOT! This rules!" Naruto yelled as he ran around the beach with nothing but his underwear on.

"Take that!" Ino yelled as she splashed Hinata with water.

"YOSH!" Lee yelled and ran around the beach 5 times without taking a breather. And then ran into a tree...

"Hard to believe that he can be as strong as he is huh?" Neji said to Tenten.

"Yeah, I wonder why Gai likes him so much..."

"Because the like Bleep ing twins." Neji said and then stood there as if he were confused "What the hell was that?"

"Toldja you'd get bleeped." She said and then smirked.

"So! We got coconuts because of Hinata right?" Naruto said and then smiled at Hinata.

"No...we got coconuts because they were just here...we got LOST because of Hinata!" Sakura said and then splashed her with more water. (Ino, Hinata and Sakura are swimming in the nearby ocean.)

Hinata looked down and cried for a bit...

"I kinda feel like that something is missing...hmmm..." Shino said and then everyone thought.

"Rrgghh...and you call yourself a Sasuke worshiper Ino!" Sakura yelled and hit Ino in the face. "Of course its obvious that Sasuke's team isn't back yet!"

"OW..." Ino said and sank into the water and bled there for a bit.

_Meanwhile again we go back to Team 1!_

"Well looks like we're stuck out here in the forest on the first night we got here."Sasuke said and then cleared out an area for them to sleep in while Kiba had Akamaru search for food or the others.

"OK, boy, you know your mission! This is a class B mission so take it seriously!" Kiba was making sure that Akamaru knew exactly what to do. Akamaru just stared at him with his head tilted.

"I saw the monkey!" Jimmy was once again hopping up and down and pointing every which way.

"This damn bug is annoying..." Sasuke said and then flicked it. It then fell over unconcious.

"I...think...I'm...gonna...die..." Chouji said when he finally caught back up to them.

"The fatty is back..." Kiba said and laughed at him until Chouji turned into a giant ball of meat and crushed him.

"So...much...fat...bleeding...hurting...scared..." Kiba whispered random things to himself as Akamaru ran off to search for who knows what...

"Chouji, I think you have mentally scarred Kiba for the rest of his life..." Sasuke said and then stared at him awkwardly.

"No one calls me fat..."

_The next morning with all the others!_

Naruto slowly awoke after a long night of partying, raping, partying, bleeding, partying, molesting, partying, more bleeding, and yes, more partying...only to see Lee staring at him with big fuzzy eyebrows...

"Lee?" Naruto said but Lee just kept staring.

They stared at each other for awhile until Naruto got up and poked Lee. Lee then proceeded to fall over face first into the sand and Naruto sweat dropped...

Naruto sat there for awhile waiting for something to happen when Lee got up an yelled "YOSH!" at the top of his lungs and Naruto fell over in the sand this time...

Lee stared at Naruto some more until Hinata got up and pushed Lee aside to stare at Naruto.

After everyone woke up, they decided to look for team 1.

Team 2 was to find team 1 and team 3 was to find any other civilization on the island.

"Alright! I say that us girls on team 2 look for the guys on team 1 and team 3 look for any other people" Sakura yelled and Ino said "Shouldn't they come with us to find team 1?"

"Tch, do you really think that they will be any help?" Sakura said and Ino just looked down.

"Alright, move out!" Sakura yelled and marched off. Her team followed.

"What the hell are we supposed to do?" Naruto said and Neji bashed him on the head.

"You didn't hear anything she just said?" Neji yelled and walked off to start their search for civilization.

"No..." Naruto said and followed Neji. Shino, Lee, and Shikamaru followed.

_The last time we're going back to team 1!_

Chouji woke up with a large yawn and stood up. He woke Kiba, Sasuke, and Jimmy up. Akamaru was still gone when they woke up but Kiba knew he was alive because he could faintly smell his scent.

"Ugh...jeez...my back hurts...I'm not sleepin' on the ground again" Kiba said and took out a couple of doggie treats and ate them. He offered a couple of them to Sasuke and Chouji. Chouji ate his without hesitation but Sasuke refused. He thought he was to cool to be eating something that some eskimo-like kid's dog eats...

"Well that's the only food we have for what could be a long while" Kiba said eating just a bit more.

"Pft...I'll manage..." Sasuke said and continued through the forest.

_To team 2 we go!_

"Sasuke! Where are you?" Sakura and Ino were frantically searching while Hinata and Ten-ten struggled to keep up with them.

"W-wait for u-us!" Hinata yelled and tripped, almost falling face first into the sand.

It goes on like this for many boring hours...so lets just continue to something more important...

_Now for the much more interesting team 3!_

"What the hell?" Shikamaru yelled. He stared up at a gigantic shrine with two statues of huge monkeys.

"Um...this is really weird...but...at least we found other civilization..." Naruto said and searched for an entrance.

"I have a feeling that there is a great amount of monkeys in there...and that they worship some kinda crazy monkey god that, like, gives them bananas to answer their prayers or something..." Shino said and was stared at by Neji with his scary pale white eyes...

"Could you...stop staring at me?"

"Uh...yeah..." he kept staring.

"Ok...so...stop..."

"Hey! Neji! Use your byakugan to find an entrance!" Lee said suddenly as he kicked the stone wall to break it and finally enter.

"Oh, right!" Neji said and activated the byakugan "I...see...alotta monkeys...and a dog...and an entrance at the top of the shrine!" everyone followed him to the top of the shrine.

"Whaddaya mean you saw a dog in there?" Shikamaru said and then Neji peered down again.

"You don't think..." Naruto said and then everyone's eyes went big...

"AKAMARU!"

_To be Continued..._

* * *

**Yoh: Whoa! I wonder what happened to Akamaru...**

**Niwatori: That is something that I'm gonna have to ponder because of writer's block**

**Yugi: Shutup! You don't have writer's block!**

**Niwatori: Aw, shut up, what do you know? Oh, I know what you know because I'm the author! And now I'm gonna make you say something**

**Yugi: Ack! Uh...n-no...Niwatori does not have writers block...whoa...what the hell was that?**

**Niwatori: That was me forcing you to say something...and it was kinda hard to read**

**Yoh: Hey, where are Kenshin and Yusuke?**

**Niwatori: Oh I gave them a vacation**

**Yugi: Why didn't you give us a vacation?**

**Niwatori: Well Yoh doesn't do crap and you're an ass hole...that's why**

**Yugi: Ah screw this!**

**(Yugi runs off and jumps off a cliff)**

**Niwatori: Well, that was weird and now I will tell you to review but not flame! So do it...**


	5. When monkeys attack and an unexpected vi...

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto and neither do you...unless of course you are Misashi Kishimoto in which case congratulations on finding the time to go to a website like this and read random fics about your manga.

Hey everybody, I'm back with another chapter! And I promise it'll be a good one! Sorry it took me so long to update but I can only work on fics on certain days...otherwise I'm downloading music or Naruto chapters to read...plus I went on a class trip to Chicago! WOOT! It was awesome...well, time now for the hit kids TV series called "Replies to Reviews" (not really if that offends someone some how...)

KittyMissy- Since you were the first to review, you get the honor of having me reply to you first...which really isn't that big of a deal...oh well, Itachi is going to appear in this chapter because I got to where he shows up in Konoha, and when he shows up again at the hotel that Jiraiya and Naruto stayed at while Naruto waited to learn the Rasengan and Jiraiya collected information about the whereabouts of Tsunade. I like long, detailed, explanations of where I am in the Naruto series...well currently I...wait...resisting...temptation...twitch...

I rule you- No, I rule you...but I'm glad you liked it anyway...

Nejithecagedbird- Uh...first of all...this is a COMEDY fic...not everything has to make sense if its for the sake of comedy...second of all...calm down...the thing with Sakura and Ino...if you remember, when it comes to Sasuke, those two are the worst of rivals!

Illklutazn- boy that's hard to spell o.0...anyway, you will have to read this chapter to find out if the dog was Akamaru or not!

This chapter is the best yet! BuyI regret to say that it is pathetically short...the next chappie will be much longer though!Less humorous this time around but still the best...so get ready for the most wonderful, bestest, awesomest, super...est, coolest, not-longerest,MM-MMMMPPPHHH! (Niwatori is gagged and dragged away by Uchiha Itachi...)

"That'll teach you to shutup so we can get on with the chapter with ME in it!"

**Chapter 5**

**When monkeys attack and an unexpected visitor**

Everyone rushed into the shrine after realizing that Akamaru could be inside. They ran down three hallways to the left, and then one to the right, and then as they entered the next room, they realized they were in...the room they started out at!

"What the hell?" Naruto yelled and then ran into someone. As the person he ran into stood up, Naruto could just make out a big fuzzy jacket and a fat person behind him. Along with a darker, kid in the back with a blue jacket on and spiky hair. It was team 1!

"Watch it Naruto!" Kiba yelled and then Shikamaru walked past Naruto and looked at Kiba.

"Why are you here?" Shikamaru said and then Kiba looked down.

"Those damn monkeys have Akamaru!" Kiba said and then punched a wall.

"Calm down...I gotta plan but we need everyone's cooperation to do it." Shikamaru said and then Kiba looked up.

"Right! Let's go save Akamaru!" Kiba yelled and then everyone huddled up...

_To team 2 we go!_

"What?" Sakura yelled as she turned around to look at Hinata.

"I-I s-saw s-someone m-move over t-there" Hinata said and then shakily pointed in the direction that she thought she saw someone move at.

"Look, we're out here to find Sasuke, not find other people...that was team 3's job" Ino said and then smacked another tree branch. It then fell, revealing a small dirt path...leading to a house?

_Shikamaru's done explaining now!_

"Squad B that way! Squad F that way! And the rest of squad A, come with me!" Shikamaru yelled and pointed in 3 different directions.

"You sure this plan of yours is gonna work Shikamaru?" Naruto said and then followed him down a path.

"Naruto, don't doubt Shikamaru's ability to plan ahead...its saved your ass before, and besides, he's the only Chuunin I see around here..." Chouji said and then smirked. Naruto just kind of growled at him slightly.

The two teams were now divided into three squads (here we go again) Squad A, consisted of Shikamaru, Sasuke, and Neji. They were in charge of taking out any traps that monkeys could possibly come up with. Squad B consisted of Naruto, Kiba, and Lee. They were to find and retrieve Akamaru. Squad F consisted of Chouji, Gaara, and Shino. They were to defeat any opposing threats that could appear...such as the man-eating monkeys with rabies charging straight for them...

"Whoa" Shino said and then slightly shifted to one side.

"Baika no jutsu!" Chouji yelled and then bloated up to the size of the monkey which was pretty damn big.

"SSUURRAAA!" The monkey yelled and sank its fangs into Chouji's giant stomach. (Ow...o.-)

"Ugh...Sabakukyuu" Gaara said and a bunch of sand wrapped around the monkey.

"SSSSUUUURRRRAAAAA!" It yelled and struggled to get free.

Gaara then closed his fists really fast and yelled "Sabakusousou!" and the sand crushed the monkey...continuing now...

They each had 1 of 3 hallways to explore. Gaara's squad searched one hallway while Naruto's squad searched another.

"Hey, shouldn't we have Neji on our team to help us find Akamaru?" Lee said and then Naruto said "That jerk? No way, we got Kiba anyways"

"Will you guys shutup? I'm tryin' to lock onto Akamaru's scent!" Kiba said while sniffing the air.

"Got 'im!" Kiba yelled and jumped off leaving Naruto and Lee behind.

"Well...what should we do now?" Lee said while Naruto sped off to catch up with Kiba.

"Oh...well, wait for me!" Lee yelled and ran as fast as he could to catch up...

Now we'll check up on how Shikamaru's squad is doing...

"And another over there...and there...and there..." Neji continuously said as Sasuke and Shikamaru frantically tried to keep up with getting rid of all the traps that Neji was spotting.

"Dammit! How can monkeys be this frikin' smart?" Sasuke yelled and quickly destroyed another trap.

"They can't be...something's wrong here..." Shikamaru said and then regretted having Neji on his squad...he was making him work to much...

"Alright...that's all for this part of the hallway..." Neji said and fell over because he exhausted his chakra...Shikamaru gave him a soldier pill quickly and had him activate his Byakugan again.

"Alright...this'll keep me going for another few hours" He got back up and continued through the hallway...

But little did any of them know that this was actually all a trap set by...well I can't tell you...so just keep reading...

_Team 2 time!_

They had found a house out in the middle of nowhere on an unknown tropical island in the middle of the pacific ocean...tch, yeah their gonna go in...

"Wow...creepy..." Sakura said as she entered the house.

The whole house was painted completely black besides some blood stains on the wall...

"This guy, and god do I hope it's a guy, must be really scary, or crazy or somethin' you know?" Ino said as she stared around the room.

There was only one another thing in the whole house besides darkness...a blood-stained knife lying in the middle of the floor...

"L-lets get out of h-here b-before the owner comes b-back to h-his h-house..." Hinata said and inched her way over to the door.

When she opened the door something scarier than Satan himself was standing in the doorway...Uchiha Itachi!

_**To be continued...**_

**Itachi: wait a minnit...I only appear once? AND I DON'T EVEN GET TO TALK!**

**Yusuke: relax, you damn Uchiha killer, there's a part 2 to this story that I'm sure will be better and longer than this shitty one...**

**Kenshin: and the mighty author said it was going to be good...**

**Yugi: where the hell is he anyway?**

**Itachi: oh, I gagged him and stuffed him in a closet with little to no oxygen at the beginning of the story**

**DEAD SILENCE**

**Yugi: you...did...what...!**

**Itachi: uh...is that bad?**

**Yusuke: no, its not bad, we're just gonna all die because the author is dead and can't write, OF COURSE ITS BAD YOU PSYCOTIC MORON!**

**All: NOOOOOOOOOOOO (they're fading away) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooo!**

**Niwatori: pliff rfffw fft no fllminn (trasnslation: please review but no flaming)**


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